Should we avoid certain suburbs or am I overthinking it?
My boyfriend and I are looking outside Philly because we want a little more space, maybe a yard for the dog and somewhere we can actually host people without bumping elbows. Problem is, I keep getting stuck on whether some suburbs are gonna be weird for us. I’m Asian and he’s white, and we’ve had a few awkward experiences already, mostly just little comments from strangers when we’re out looking at open houses. Nothing super dramatic, but enough to make me question places we otherwise liked.
We’ve been using Zillow, Redfin, and those neighborhood review sites, but it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s just people being online. I don’t want to overthink every town, but I also don’t want to buy a house and then feel uncomfortable every time we leave the driveway. How do you all figure out if a neighborhood is actually diverse-friendly? Do you just spend time there at different hours, or ask the agent directly? Any tips would help because we’re kind of in that “excited but anxious” stage right now.
Mar 15
49
2 repliesA
Aisha JohnsonPREMIUMYou’re not overthinking it. We bought in a suburb outside Minneapolis and did a lot of “drive-bys” before we ever made an offer. Sounds a little silly, but we’d go on a weekday evening, then again on a Saturday morning, just to see who was out, what the vibe was, whether people were walking dogs, kids playing, that kind of thing. It gave us a better feel than any online review.
Also, ask your agent point blank if they’ve worked with interracial couples in the area before. A good agent won’t get weird about it. Ours was super honest and even told us which neighborhoods had more mixed families and more inclusive school communities. It wasn’t about finding a perfect place, just one where we could breathe a little easier.
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Emily ChenI’d add that sometimes the biggest clue is the lender, title company, and agent team, not just the neighborhood. We had one agent in Dallas who was great on paper but kept making tiny comments like “This area is very traditional” or “You’ll probably prefer somewhere more your style,” which was annoying and honestly telling. We switched and the second agent was way more straightforward.
For the neighborhood part, we used Nextdoor and even joined a local community group on Facebook before buying. Not because those apps are always pleasant, but because people accidentally reveal a lot. If you see a lot of coded language, weird complaints about “new people,” or just very little diversity in the photos and posts, that tells you something. Trust your gut if a place keeps giving you that off feeling.
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