Forums Interracial Wedding PlanningNeed help figuring out food + family seating for a mixed wedding, because my mom is already acting up

Need help figuring out food + family seating for a mixed wedding, because my mom is already acting up

Marcus D.

BASIC

10 posts

Marcus D.BASIC

My partner and I got engaged in November and we’ve started planning our wedding in New Orleans for this fall. I’m Filipino and he’s Nigerian, so the food situation alone is already wild in the best way. We both want a menu that actually feels like our families instead of the usual chicken-or-fish wedding dinner, but we keep getting stuck on what to serve without making the catering bill ridiculous. I’ve been looking at caterers on The Knot and even some local family-run spots, but I’m not sure if we should do stations, plated dinner, or just keep it simple with a mix of dishes. The other issue is seating. My mom has already made a few weird comments about “how the tables should be arranged” and I can tell she’s trying to control where certain relatives sit. His family is very warm and loud, mine is more formal and a little tense, so I’m trying to plan things in a way that keeps the peace. Has anyone done assigned seating with mixed families and lived to tell the story? Also, if you did a fusion menu, what actually worked and what ended up being too much?

Mar 26

2 replies

Sarah M.BASIC

#1 · Mar 26

I’d be careful with trying to please everybody with the menu, because that can get expensive fast and still somehow make someone complain. I’m half Haitian, my husband is Vietnamese, and we tried to do a giant fusion spread at first. It was too much. We ended up choosing one or two meaningful dishes from each family and then making the rest a simple cocktail-hour setup with good drinks and passed appetizers. People still talk about it because it felt personal. On the seating, I’d strongly recommend giving your planner or a trusted friend final say on the chart if your mom starts getting bossy. My mom tried to rearrange tables three times the week before the wedding, and I had to just stop answering those texts. At the end of the day, your wedding is not the family reunion seating committee. Put the people who are likely to cause drama farther apart and keep the relatives who actually like each other together. It’s not rude, it’s survival.

Keisha L.

#2 · Mar 26

We did assigned seating and I’m honestly glad we did, because otherwise my family would’ve clustered up and avoided my husband’s side the whole night. I’m Indian and my wife is Colombian, and we made the seating chart based more on personality than family branch. Like, we put the chatty cousin next to the chill uncle and the aunt who loves dancing near the younger crowd. It sounds super controlling, but it kept the energy good. For food, we did buffet stations in Orlando and that was the right move. One station was Caribbean-style chicken and rice, another had biryani and paneer, plus a small dessert table with both cultures. People loved being able to choose what they wanted, and it made the menu feel intentional instead of just random. If the caterer is charging too much, maybe do one or two signature dishes from each side and fill the rest with crowd-pleasers.