Forums Swirl Life & CultureMy mom finally asked about my boyfriend and I did not know how to act lol

My mom finally asked about my boyfriend and I did not know how to act lol

10 posts

So I’ve been dating this guy for about 8 months now, and this past weekend my mom finally brought him up at Sunday dinner like it was no big deal. For context, I’m Black and he’s Korean, and my family can be a little old school sometimes, so I was lowkey nervous for months. She didn’t say anything rude, but she definitely had that look where she’s trying to figure out if he’s “serious” or just a phase. We’re in Atlanta, and honestly people stare less than I thought they would, but family is a whole different story. My mom kept asking if he likes soul food, if he can handle our loud holiday gatherings, and if he knows how to eat real BBQ. I tried to laugh it off, but I could tell she was testing me too. She’s not against interracial dating, but I think she’s worried about the culture gap more than anything. What made it awkward is he’s really sweet but kinda quiet around my family. At brunch he was polite, helped clean up, and even said grace with my uncle, which my mom noticed. Still, I’m wondering if anyone else had to do the whole “prove he’s a good one” thing with their parents? How did y’all handle it without making it a big dramatic moment?

Mar 13

131

3 replies

Mike Hernandez

#1 · Mar 13

Girl yes, I went through this with my mom and my Puerto Rican husband when we were dating. Parents always say they care about personality, but then they turn into private investigators when somebody is from a different background lol. What helped me was giving my mom small chances to see him in normal settings, not just big family dinners. Once she saw him fixing my tire in the rain in Houston, she stopped asking so many questions.

Jasmine K.

#2 · Mar 14

You’re not alone at all. My wife is Black and I’m white, and her mom did the whole “is he serious?” thing for like a year. The biggest thing was consistency. Showing up, helping out, remembering birthdays, all that. Families watch actions way more than words, even when they act like they’re just making small talk.

Brittany S.BASIC

#3 · Mar 14

I think the quiet ones get judged extra hard because folks read silence as disinterest. My husband is Japanese and at first my dad thought he was standoffish, but really he was just trying not to say the wrong thing. After a few cookouts and a Thanksgiving in Chicago, my dad said he appreciated how respectful he was. Sometimes it just takes time and repetition for family to relax.