My gf is from Colombia and my mom keeps making it awkward lol
So I’m Mexican-American, born and raised in San Antonio, and I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 9 months. She’s Colombian, moved here to Houston a few years ago, and honestly everything is great between us. She’s super sweet, we cook together all the time, and her English is way better than she gives herself credit for. The only thing that’s been a little weird is my mom. She likes her, but she keeps asking if my gf is gonna “forget Spanish” or if her family is too different from ours. Like… what does that even mean lol.
The language thing is funny too because at family dinners everybody starts mixing Spanish and English and then my girlfriend gets quiet because she says she’s scared of saying the wrong word. I keep telling her my family doesn’t care, but I can tell she feels like she has to prove herself. Anybody else deal with family acting weird about a Latino/Hispanic interracial relationship? How did you get them to chill without making it a whole big fight?
2d ago
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2 repliesT
Tasha WilliamsYeah, my situation was kinda similar. I’m Puerto Rican and my wife is Dominican, but our families still acted like we were from totally different planets at first. My aunt used to make comments about “their food” and “their way of talking” and it was exhausting. What helped was honestly just time and bringing my wife around more in normal settings, not just the big family events where everyone performs a little.
Also, on the Spanish thing, I’d tell your mom to relax because if anything, your girlfriend probably picks up more every time she’s around your family. My wife started with just a few phrases and now she jokes back with people at cookouts. It gets easier once they see she’s not an outsider, just another person trying to fit in.
C
Chris TanakaMy husband is Salvadoran and I’m Black, and I remember his mom asking me right out loud if I knew how to make tamales before we were even engaged lol. Some older family members are just nosey and weird about culture stuff because they think it matters more than it does. What worked for me was not getting defensive every time and instead kind of showing up consistently. I learned some recipes, asked questions, and let them see I respected the culture without trying too hard.
If your girlfriend wants to feel more comfortable, maybe let her come to one smaller hangout with a couple of people she already knows instead of the whole family chaos at once. Big dinners can be overwhelming even when everyone is nice. And if your mom says something off again, it’s fair to shut it down gently like, “She’s not forgetting Spanish, she’s just learning our family’s version of chaos.”
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