Forums Ancestry, DNA & Heritage DiscoveryMy DNA test was way more mixed than I expected... now I'm kinda emotional about it

My DNA test was way more mixed than I expected... now I'm kinda emotional about it

Ben O'Connor

PREMIUM

12 posts

Ben O'ConnorPREMIUM

So I finally did one of those ancestry tests after my boyfriend kept bugging me about it, and wow, I was not prepared for the results. I grew up in Atlanta thinking I was pretty much just Black with a little bit of “maybe some Native” from my grandma’s side, but my test came back with West African, Scottish, Irish, and a small amount of Igbo that actually matched what my aunt always used to say about our family. Seeing it all laid out like that hit me harder than I expected. What made it even more weird was that my boyfriend, who’s Puerto Rican and white, got super into it too. He started showing me his breakdown like we were comparing music playlists or something. We’ve been together about 8 months, and I guess I didn’t realize how much this stuff would make me think about future kids and what stories we’ll be able to pass on. Like, I want them to know where they come from, but half the family already acts funny about interracial stuff anyway. Has anyone else had a test bring up a bunch of feelings you weren’t ready for? Also, how do y’all talk to older family members about ancestry without sounding like you’re trying to “prove” anything? My mama got kinda quiet when I mentioned it at Sunday dinner, and I could tell she had opinions but didn’t wanna say them in front of everybody.

Mar 25

123

3 replies

Marcus D.BASIC

#1 · Mar 25

Man, same here. I did 23andMe after my divorce and it honestly helped me feel grounded again. I grew up in Philly with a lot of missing pieces in the family story, and finding out I had ties to Senegal and parts of the Carolinas made me feel less lost. Also, don’t sleep on the fact that your mama may just need time. Sometimes older folks hear DNA test and think you’re saying their stories weren’t enough. I’d maybe show her you’re using it to honor the family, not replace what she knows.

Jasmine K.

#2 · Mar 25

Girl yes, I feel this. I’m in Houston and when I did mine, I expected like basic answers and got a whole surprise family history lesson. It’s crazy how a little pie chart can mess with your emotions like that. I think a lot of us have been told these loose family stories for years, then the DNA makes it feel real in a different way. For the older relatives, I usually keep it soft and just say I’m curious about the family story, not trying to challenge anybody. My grandma opened up way more when I asked her to tell me about her mom and where they lived instead of asking straight up about the test.

Chris Tanaka

#3 · Mar 25

I’m married and we did our tests last Christmas in Chicago while the kids were running around tearing up wrapping paper lol. My husband is Jamaican and I’m Dominican, and the results were wild but also kinda beautiful. What I learned is that people can get defensive if they think ancestry talk is about putting one side above the other. With family, I’d keep it about connection. Like, ‘I want to know the story behind us.’ That usually lands better than talking percentages. And honestly, your future kids will probably love hearing that they come from a bunch of places. That’s something special.