Met a girl on Hinge and now I'm lowkey freaking out
So I matched with this girl on Hinge a couple weeks ago and we finally met up last Friday in Atlanta. I’m a Black guy, she’s Vietnamese American, and honestly I wasn’t expecting much besides a decent date and maybe a drink or two. We ended up talking for like 4 hours at this little ramen spot in Midtown, then walked around afterward because neither of us wanted the night to end. It felt easy in a way I’m not used to.
What’s messing with me is that this is the first interracial thing I’ve done that actually feels serious. I’ve dated Black women and one Latina before, but this is different mainly because I keep overthinking everything. Like, am I being weird if I ask about her family? Am I supposed to bring up cultural stuff or just act normal and let it happen naturally? She already said her parents are pretty traditional, and mine are a little old-school too, so now I’m sitting here wondering if I’m getting in my own head for no reason.
5d ago
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2 repliesM
Mike HernandezHonestly, you probably are getting in your own head a little, but that’s not even a bad thing. If the date felt easy, that’s the part to trust. I’m a Latina woman and I’ve dated outside my race a few times, and the biggest mistake guys make is acting like they need to “perform” being open-minded. Just be normal, ask questions when they come up, and don’t force the culture talk like it’s some interview.
If her parents are traditional, you’ll find out what matters pretty quickly. Most of the time it’s less about race and more about whether you seem respectful and steady. Ramen in Midtown and a 4-hour conversation sounds like a really good sign to me.
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Rachel KimBASICI get why you’re nervous. I’m a white dude married to a Black woman, and the first few months I was constantly worried I’d say something dumb or make things awkward. What helped was just being honest when I was unsure instead of pretending I had it all figured out. If I wanted to ask about her family or traditions, I’d just say it plainly.
One thing I’d avoid is making the relationship feel like a whole race project. It’s still two people dating. The interracial part matters, but it’s not the only thing. If she likes you, she’ll probably appreciate you being thoughtful more than trying too hard.
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