Anyone else feel like they’re always explaining themselves?
I’m half Black and half Korean, grew up in Atlanta, and I swear every new group of people turns into a little identity interview. At work last week somebody asked me if I “counted as Black or Asian” and then laughed like it was a normal question. I never know how to answer without sounding annoyed, because honestly I’m tired of answering it at all.
It’s weird too because at home it’s a totally different thing. My mom’s side expects me to know all this Korean stuff I missed growing up, and my dad’s side acts like I should just fit right in because I look like them to some people. I’ve been feeling kind of stuck between both sides lately. Does anybody else deal with this? How do you stop feeling like you need to prove you belong somewhere?
Mar 20
87
2 repliesD
DeAndre W.Yep, 100%. I’m Puerto Rican and White, grew up in Chicago, and people always want the short answer like I’m supposed to pick one and simplify my whole life. I started saying, “I’m both, actually,” and then changing the subject if they keep pushing. It’s not rude, it’s just me protecting my energy.
What helped me most was finding people who didn’t make me explain myself constantly. Even one or two friends who get it makes a huge difference.
T
Test UserI can relate a lot. I’m Black and Filipino, and I used to think I was failing both sides because I didn’t know every tradition or language piece. But honestly, being mixed doesn’t mean you have to perform both cultures perfectly to be valid.
For me, it got easier when I stopped treating other people’s confusion like a problem I had to fix. Some folks will never get it. That’s on them, not you.
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