ForumsLanguage Barriers & Bilingual LoveAnyone else accidentally say the wrong thing in their partner’s language and cause chaos?
Anyone else accidentally say the wrong thing in their partner’s language and cause chaos?
I need to know I’m not the only one who has done this. I’m dating a woman from Colombia, and I’ve been trying to learn Spanish because her English is good, but she gets way more comfortable in Spanish when she’s emotional or joking around. We met on Hinge in Miami, and at first we were doing the whole mix of English, Spanish, and Google Translate. It was cute until I got confident and started trying to “surprise” her with Spanish at the wrong moments.
The worst one happened last month at her sister’s birthday dinner. I meant to say something like “you look beautiful tonight,” but I mixed up a word and ended up saying basically that she looked pregnant. I wanted to disappear into the floor. Her whole family went silent for a second, and then her uncle started laughing so hard he had to leave the table. My girlfriend was mad for maybe 30 seconds and then she laughed too, but I was sweating.
Now I’m super nervous to speak unless I’m 100% sure, which is annoying because I want to keep practicing. Has anybody else had one of those embarrassing bilingual disasters? How do you keep the confidence up after messing up bad?
Mar 26
209
3 repliesM
Mike HernandezOh man, I’ve done the same thing in Korean and my mother-in-law still brings it up at Christmas. The embarrassment is brutal in the moment, but honestly those stories become family lore later. If they’re laughing now, that’s a good sign — they’re not offended, they’re including you.
My advice is keep trying, but maybe practice the sentence with your girlfriend first before using it in public. I used to rehearse stuff in the car like a weirdo before family dinners. Saved me from a lot of disaster.
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Mike HernandezThis is so real 😂 I once told my husband’s aunt in Spanish that the chicken was “very embarrassed” instead of “very tasty.” Nobody forgot it. But now they tease me because they know I’m making an effort.
Don’t stop speaking just because of one bad moment. People can tell when you’re genuine. Also, honestly, native speakers mess up too — they just do it faster and with more confidence.
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Chris TanakaYou are definitely not alone. I’m a single dad dating a Haitian woman in Orlando, and I’ve gotten tongue-tied around her family more times than I can count. The first time I tried Creole, I basically sounded like I was reading off a menu with a mouthful of crackers.
What helped me was asking my girlfriend to correct me in private and not in front of people unless it was really necessary. That way I could keep practicing without feeling like I was getting graded. The fact that you’re still willing to try after a big mess-up says a lot.
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